15 mar 02 fri « »
np/tim mcgraw:17

i think our phone got shut off. i mean we owe $80 from the past two days but i just paid $100, so that should not have happened. well good thing i get paid today.
i'm going to have to use my entire check to pay bills, and even then i'll still have a lot left. but it's alright -- it's not so bad that i can't pay them, yet, so i'm not too worried. i'm worried, because i really wish i could be saving up money right now and if i didn't have all of these bills i'd be able to do it -- only about $175 would be going towards rent/bills, having two roommates, so logically i should literally should be able to save like $300/month. that's a whole friggin' lot. course i like to spend money on stupid things, especially things like eating out and going out. infact that's about all i've spent my spare money on in months. and that's got to stop if i'm to move to chicago any time. i mean five months? if i didn't have these bills, and i was saving up $300/month? then i could save up money to go to scotland, which kind of is most important because kurt can't move for another five or so months. scotland! the most magical, beautiful, pretty place on earth!

well i'm supposed to be in to work at 10. but i'm late, and not going to walk right now so i'm going to get there at 12 and say i thought i was supposed to be in at 12. it's wrong, i know, only i can't leave quite yet. plus i'll stay a few extra hours to make up for it. argh.
well yesterday i did a lot of work, comparatively, it smells like cat box in this bathroom for some reason and the cat box isn't even in here.

in any case. i do so hope we get paid today. i've overdrawn in my checking account, the payroll check is never as much as i think it's going to be,
30
x5
150; two weeks, 300. less than $300, atleast. taxes an' aw.
10
x5
50; 1/3, about $34. workmans comp covers 1/3.

i have to go to st something's hospital and sign papers to release my xrays and mri's to doctor karr's office, they're going to be calling one of these days to bitch at me.

last night, why didn't i just go to the theatre like i was going to? i know why -- i wanted to go to the bowling alley to see what mike's ex-girlfriend looks like. she was going to be there. she's now dating one of mike's friends, who lives in milwaukee.
but as it happened, i stamped out his case with each step toward my house. 1am. cold.
and then, i wasn't angry but then i thought of telling the story to julie and i thought of her reaction -- she'd be super super pissed. so i realised i ought to be angry, because often i let things slip when a huge explosion is due, i forgive people like nothing. so i figured i ought to be angry.
so, get in the car! is met with, i've walked all this way, don't you think i ought to just cut my losses and get home without having to yell at anyone? and i did. it was about a 2 1/2 mile walk, i think.
and it wasn't romantic, or poetic, or emo. it was just cold, and boring.
and i stamped his case right out.

i wish i just didn't have to go into work today at all. i mean christ. i hate this. i have so much to do at home, i have to organise my papers (unimportant to most, but important to my sanity and wellbeing) and once i've got that organised i think the rest will be a bit easier to take care of.

10:32am